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What a Week! From HELLLLL.

It started off being exhausted from a weekend in Chicago filled with too much walking, an epic concert, a sorority reunion and a couple otters. Also an amazingly ludicrous meltdown that had a toddler crying, drooling, spitting, flailing and melting from downtown Chicago to Midway Airport, through the baggage check line, past security and all the way to the gate. So that was a fun ending to the trip. But the flight? Mot@#$!f#@$ angel. At least he gave me that. Continue reading

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Here We Goat Again!

It’s been a crazy month of packing, moving, driving, unpacking, a slew of bugs and learning the lay of new lands and states. There is much to be said about all that but you’ll probably never read it. Somehow, in the midst of the crazy, we made one last visit to the farm in Maryland we’ve taken Little A to every year

Kid still likes goats. This year he also liked chasing the chickens, blatantly ignoring the DON’T CHASE THE CHICKENS sign, that rebel. He finally sat still long enough to not be a blur or an immobile lump in the pumpkin patch. He also rode a horse that was supposed to be a pony but was pretty much a horse.

I also learned that my camera is cursed at this particular latitude and longitude. The past two visits, my camera would shut down and I would have to take the battery out in order for it to work again. I thought it was something with the sensors and the sun or some shiut, because it was always super bright and I was usually trying to get glare, but this year was overcast and it STILL happened. It’s never happened anywhere else. Ever. So cool story, bro. Continue reading

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Photo Friday: Ice Cream Cone (Doing It Wrong)

Hellooooooo world. The !#%!@ Baby and I still exist! We ran a temporary hotel here for a few weeks to host three visitors back to back. To back. So we took some time off (ok, I took some time off) from blogging to hang out with friends and grandmas. We went to the zoo, the children’s museum dealie, ate junk food, drank beer (ok, I drank beer) and just enjoyed having other people in the house. 

Because just the two of us? We really get on each other’s nerves. For real.

Among the things we did, my mom (Grandma Bebe) was adamant about getting the kid his first ice cream cone. He’s had ice cream before, but never in the cone.

And that was made very clear. He would not pick it up!

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He liked it. A lot. But refused to touch it.

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Weird little bugger. Who doesn’t pick up ice cream cones?!

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 And God forbid one of us try to keep it steady on the table for him.

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And when he got tired of bending over…he thought of another way to eat it.

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HE REFUSES TO USE A SPOON AT HOME AND THE ONE TIME IT ISN’T REQUIRED, HE USES A GODDAMN SPOON.

%$#!@# kid.

Now enjoy a bonus video and see this cute fail in action. 

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Photo Friday: Mama’s Little Toddler Muddy Butt

How’s THAT for a catchy title, eh?! So much for that one-post-a-week resolution; I missed like two weeks. But whatever, if I hadn’t said anything you would have probably never noticed. And if you DID notice, well, I pledge to you my undying gratitude and love. And applaud your devotion to this !$!@# failblog.

ANYWAY. Maryland saw waaaay more than it’s fair share of snow this season and while I for one reveled in the white glory, it is now beyond mid-$%@#$-March. Even I’m ready for spring at this point. The last of our recent fluke 6-inch snowfall melted yesterday, leaving behind a wonderfully destroyed yard of muck and mud. In which I wanted to stomp.

What can I say, my fraternity mud wrestling days are hard to leave behind! I’ve been looking for a pair of rain boots for Little A so we can stomp in rain puddles and I would have a reason to wear my polka dot boots, but have yet to find any for him. But today the sun was shining, the wind was blowing and there was a lovely little puddle next to our driveway that was just begging to be stomped in.

Can...can I touch it?

Can…can I touch it?

Continue reading

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Photo Friday: Have You Herd the News?

Several weeks ago, we returned to the scene of last year’s Goat Encounters of the Herd Kind. You can judge for yourselves if the sequel is better or worse.

I again fought with my big DSLR but since we went on a weekday, the place was empty and there was no cider to quench my rage. I also discovered that my new phone may just take better photos. Also learned that it is much harder these days to capture a toddler in focus. So that’s fun. Christmas photos should be interesting this year.

He was much more interested in the animals this year which made it way more fun than just holding him up like we had to last year.

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Yo, goat. What’s happening.

So, you come here often?

So, you come here often?

Snuggle!

Snuggle!

I always feel like somebody's watching me...

I always feel like somebody’s watching me…

I GOT THIS FOR YOU. HEY!! I GOT THIS FOR YOU!

I GOT THIS FOR YOU. HEY!! I GOT THIS FOR YOU!

We have to do this every year, don't we?

We have to do this every year, don’t we?

Back , way back, in the summer I was given Lightroom for my birthday in an effort to actually DO something with the photos I take. However, that program is so overwhelming to me I don’t even know where to begin to start learning. So I just haven’t. But in trying to learn, I played with presets. Which is cool and all, but it doesn’t help when the photos are out of focus anyway because your kid won’t sit the @%#! still for more than a second.

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Happy #%!@#% Friday, friends!