Abandonment Issues

I’m having a problem.

Big A and I are headed to Vegas soon. And we love Vegas. LOVE. We’ve been four times together. I’ve been three other times without  him.

Fake Bride for a Fake Wedding.

Two Spring Breaks. My 21st Birthday. His “goodbye” trip before he enlisted. We “pretend” got married Valentine’s Day 2011 to see if we could get free shit (we didn’t). We know how to celebrate. We %$&@# love this place.

This trip, though? Mehhhhhhh.

I already left the kid behind once, in September when we went to Pittsburgh for a Steelers game. But that wasn’t even two days. And I felt bad, but the kid wasn’t really doing much yet and I wasn’t concerned.

But this trip is longer.

And the kid? HE DOES STUFF NOW! I feel like in the days we’re gone, he’s going to roll over to his stomach (totally possible), say a “word” (slightly possible), sit up by himself (probably not possible) or start walking on his own (totally not possible).

He learns something new every day. Interacts a little more. Makes a new noise. Makes crazy faces.

AND I’M SUPPOSED TO BE OKAY WITH MISSING ALL OF IT?!

I can’t even get behind the mommy-needs-a-break mindset because I really don’t. I like my “job” and I don’t need a day off yet.

And I’m not nervous about leaving him with someone else; he’ll be in good hands.

It doesn’t help that the trip snuck up on me and I never got my lazy ass to stop watching Full House long enough to go running so I didn’t lose ten pounds and I have nothing to wear.

I’m trying not to freak out.

I just don’t want someone else giving him a bath. Is that weird? That’s weird, isn’t it. And I probably shouldn’t ask her to not bathe him for the duration.

Absolute rule, though? NO NEW FOODS. Under no @!$%! circumstance will I miss anything like Bananagate.

At least we will be busy enough (read: drunk) that I probably (hopefully) won’t think about it too much.

Hopefully.

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