I saw “the ad” yesterday. Maybe the night before. And at first I thought it was sweet and almost shared the link. But I didn’t. And then I thought about it a little more. And then I rolled my eyes.
And at this point I know I’m not the only one that’s bitching about it or will bitch about it and I’m definitely not the best of the best that will bitch about it, but whatever. I feel like bitching about it and I already wrote it so I don’t care.
If you are somehow blissfully unawares of the latest in viral emotional scams, let me assist you: Advertising geniuses ingeniously came up with a campaign that had real people interview for a fake job that had stupid, not to mention obviously illegal, work demands and then hit them with the SURPRISE IT’S MOM! shtick.
Is motherhood really the hardest job? Like, REALLY? I am certainly not on my feet 24/7, and while some days I feel like I could certainly use more sleep I’m not sufficiently lacking in it. I still find ways to nap all the @#%!ing time. And what moms (or dads) among us haven’t just shoved Easy Mac, String Cheese or Teddy Grahams at a kid to shove in their faceholes? Culinary guru, not so much. I know how to slap a band-aid on a cut or kiss a pinched finger but I’m not a doctor. \
Parent(s) can still sneak away for a date night. Parent(s) can still pawn their mini snot-faces off on the grandparents or other caretakers for a night or three or eighteen for a get-away. We aren’t ON all the time. The little knee scrapers have to sleep sometime.
I don’t pretend to be anything more than I am. I am a dish washer, laundry maintainer, short order cook, freelance writer, chauffeur, storyteller and imagination creator. I would be all those things without a kid. I have to feed myself, right? So I cook. I have to have clean clothes, right? So I do laundry. I have to go places, right? So I drive. The kid just gets to come along for all the rides. It takes a little additional effort but it sure as shit isn’t rocket science.
Is it because I only have one kid? Do I need to have multiple kids to qualify? I fail to see how this is the TOUGHEST JOB.
I can think of a significant number of jobs that are way more difficult. My husband’s, obviously, if we’re going off the top of my head. Coal miner seems really tough. I think test pilot seems pretty risky. I would do anything to not be a real garbage man or anything to do with port-a-potties. I mean, shit, being an actual rocket scientist or Neil deGrasse Tyson seems pretty damn hard. I guess just don’t get the need to put moms on such a high pedestal. Yeah, we’re totally badass and awesome and most of us are fairly good at what we do, but honestly? Do we have to be revered with sappy ads when all we really need is a little love from our kids, an occasional hug and maybe a hot bath?
I am lucky to be a mom. I am even luckier to be of the stay at home variety. I don’t need someone not in my shoes trying to tell me how “hard” my life seems.
And I highly doubt those were the first, real and true reactions of the “candidates”. Because seriously, if I had to get dressed up, be excited for a new opportunity, waste my time and be interviewed for a job that didn’t actually exist?
There would have been a whole lot more expletives, let me #%!#$ tell you. I love my mom to pieces, but I am not about to dig out my corporate clothes and throw some make-up on and god forbid actually do my hair only to have someone trick me into telling me I may not appreciate her enough.
So can we just put an end to the heart-sabotaging SURPRISE, IT’S YOUR MOM! type shit? P&G Olympics and Carters, I’m looking at you. Again. Hallmark, Kleenex, American Greetings, etc. – watch your step.