SOMEONE (i.e. my mother) is coming to visit later this weekend and SOMEONE is allergic to cats and SOMEONE said she wouldn’t come unless my house was clean. And SOMEONE isn’t cutting me any slack. Do you know how hard it is to clean a house that is three floors, pretty damn furry and full of distractions? Twenty minutes in and I was begging for a nap. And a maid. And a bald cat.
Not to mention, and I don’t know if this is part of the nesting thing or what, but little things that have been this way since we moved in two years ago are now driving me bananas. The screws left from the previous owners in the master bedroom walls? BANANAS. A little dirt spot on the wall at the top of the stairs? BANANAS. The unused living room with only a couch? BANANAS and begging for a rug, coffee table and new chair. Messy linen closet? $%&#!#% BANANAS. It took me three times longer to clean because those little things? F6&@$%^ add up.
And cause backaches. Oh man, do they cause backaches.
ANYWAY. At least I don’t have pregnancy stupidity yet. Like many people do.
BEHOLD: INSTRUCTIONS FOR PANTS.
Because, apparently, elastic waistbands are too much for some people to comprehend.