Let’s talk about your Big But, #$%^! Baby.
Picture it. Ultrasound. You’ve got legs and feet, arms and hands. You’ve got kidneys. You have your gender parts – and only one set. There’s a brain. You’re growing, you’ve got a spine, you look less like a hamster and more like a creepy alien. ALL GOOD THINGS.
There is always a BUT.
Ultrasound technician doctor woman comes into the room about 15 minutes after all the measurements were done. She is serious. SUPER SERIOUS. Oh god. What? I’m already on edge because things have seemed waaaay too easy so I have been waiting for the other shoe to drop. My first trimester NT scans were “immaculate” (where they look for Downs Syndrome markers and such) so I already thought I had unboarded that boat several weeks ago.
“Let me see your hands.” So we held out our hands.
“Oh, well, you’ve got it.” She was looking at me.
WHAT THE %^&* DO I HAVE?!
She started rambling about a finger curvature and that 5% of the population had it and someone in that office had it and that it’s a genetic trait and blah blah blah. I zoned out. Then I caught “soft marker for Downs”. Umm, what? So she started rambling about that. And my heart started racing and my mind wondered when we got back on this ship. Then she decided to point out, about ten minutes too late since I had already gone all baby hypochondriac, that all of my hard markers for the genetic screenings were perfect and my chances of abnormalities was 1:10,000 which is amazing, especially since I’m old.
SO WHY THE %$&# ARE YOU TELLING ME ABOUT HIS CREEPY FINGER. AND THAT I’VE APPARENTLY HAD IT MY WHOLE LIFE AND NO ONE TOLD ME!?
Crazy woman said 99% of doctors wouldn’t have even pointed it out, but she feels it’s important to be 100% open and honest with patients and it’s the patients right and blah blah blah. Which I appreciate, but as an aforementioned hypochondriac and overall pessimist, I would have preferred not to hear it. Now I am picturing the little alien hamster with a flipper. Or a claw.
I spent a few minutes that night googling, trying to figure out the finger thing she was talking about, because I can’t tell that I even have a creepy finger and with all her talking I couldn’t remember the name. It’s this thing. How they can even pick that up in an ultrasound, I’ll never know. Or that it must be wicked curved to be noticed. And now THAT’S what I’m focused on. That crazy fetus has a slightly bent creepy pinkie.
It’ll be bullied forever. I should look into home schooling.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely thankful that this is the only thing I apparently have to worry about for the time being. I am awesome at growing a fetus. I’ve never been this good at anything. Ever.
So everything looks fantastic! BUT THAT CRAZY FINGER. What a shame.