Dear !@$!# Baby,
It has come to my attention that apparently you have ears now and can hear muffled sounds from outside as well as my voice.
lolololol sucks to be you!
Hope you like Eminem and Avenged Sevenfold because I’ve been blasting that shit in the car. I also hope you enjoy the sounds of my screaming insults at Sandra Lee on a regular basis. And the Tebow and Brady contempt. Not to mention the insults I fling in your general direction.
You can hear but not understand, right? That’s what I thought.
I read somewhere – who knows where – that once this milestone hits the future one should “watch your language”, “talk gently to it” and “keep your voice down”. Why? It’ll hear all this shit eventually. It’s not like it’s going to pop out and yell SURPRISE, MOTHERF$%!@#s! in the delivery room. What difference does it make prior to what, the eight month mark? If our kid’s first words are Eminem lyrics, we’re going viral. AWESOME! David Letterman, here we come. (I hate David Letterman.)
This child is going to hear it all at some point anyway, might as well get him used to it from the start.
And if anyone watches Modern Family, I am totally going to be Cam. Little kids cursing is amazing. I won’t be able to stop the giggles.