Shit Just Got Real

Dearest Doughhead,

You really do exist. There you were, on-screen, in black and white and shades of grey, having made yourself a nice little squatter home. You look like a hamster.

There was only one of you, thank Taco Bell.

Now, if I was a normal, excited mommy-to-be, I would post this lovely image of fact:

But I’m not. I am a Bourbon thirsty crazy woman who thinks ultrasounds look like blobs with noΒ discernible features which require no squee-ing over. So, to help those like me who can never find the head, butt or anything in between and find regular ultrasounds to be a yawnfest, I am posting this:

Party over heeee-re!

But I swear to god, tiny little doughhead hamster, if you pull the Full House Aunt-Becky-and-Uncle-Jesse-are-having-twins thing I will f$@^ing RAGE. You know, the episode where Becky had all her tests and everything and then BAM! Seven months into it SURPRISE MOTHERF@$%*S, you have two in there lol one must have been hiding. I love the shit outta Full House, but don’t you dare suddenly morph into two and pretend it’s funny to make that episode my real life. You got it, dude?

But holy hell you’re really in there. #cuescarymusic

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