Taco Flavored Kisses

Dear @#%! Baby.

You apparently really dig Mexican food. While I haven’t had any super intense gotta-have-it-now cravings that are out of the ordinary for me (yet), you have made me go all Pavlov’s Dog for south of the border cuisine.

And not the good stuff, either. Has anyone in the history of anything ever salivated over !@%$@ Hamburger Helper? No. Hell no. Except I totally did the other night. Salt packet of “flavor”, hamburger, rice and fake cheese sauce? I couldn’t shovel it in fast enough. And the night we ate Taco Bell? I thought I was going to have to wipe the drool from my chin as I lifted the F-Grade Beef Taco to my facehole. I’m having serious mouth-watering moments here. I can’t think of another time my mouth actually watered. I didn’t know it was a real thing! I thought it was just like, I don’t know, a metaphor or a turn of phrase or something and that Pavlov was just full of shit and after all, he was testing a canine.

But nope. Apparently the visual and smell of Mexican food causes me to go all Homer Simpson now. Nachos for everyone!

mmm. nachos.

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4 thoughts on “Taco Flavored Kisses

  1. Kirsten says:

    So this made me laugh, but you always do. For 1 week solid, I had a mass desire to have (please don’t puke) – Chef Boyardee Ravioli and Beefaroni for like every meal. Yes, Beefaroni for breakfast, Canned Lasagna for Lunch, Ravioli for Dinner and Beefy Tortalini for dessert. I have no idea why. I ate the WHOLE can – every time, one day I even had a second can. No wonder I gained 5 lbs that week. I hadn’t eaten the stuff since Freshman year in college and I haven’t eaten it since. I literally couldn’t stop myself from consuming it, I even cried in secret shame while eating it even as I was thinking “this F$#(%*g S$%t is AMAZING.” Towards the end of the week I was hiding the cans in the trash from my husband – a disgrace of Chef Boyardee and my belief in healthy, organic foods. I think you have a boy – boys like gross food.

    • Oh Em Gee, Kirsten. I am cracking up right now! I can’t see you EVER eating Chef Boyardee and the mental image of you eating it while crying and hiding the cans has me dying laughing.

      Sadly, I don’t think I can count this as a sign of a boy, since I eat shitty food like this all the time, pregnant or not!

    • My trip to the grocery store yesterday was a nightmare. Pizza rolls, Bagel Bites, EZ Cheese. I am not holding back on eating whatever I want these days! I am rationalizing the junk food with the supplemental bag of baby carrots I also bought. I’m glad you found your way here and that someone thinks I’m funny!!

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