Time For Your Update. It’s Okay If You Giggle.

Yoooooo. It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? I know you missed me devastatingly so, and I figured I could give you a heads up on everything that’s hot on the docket and remind you that our $%$@!# Family does, in fact, still exist.

We’ve had a busy summer with trips to the beach, vacations to Minnesota, Colorado and Georgia, lots of visitors and a holy shit SECOND birthday. It’s also been filled with doctors appointments, wicked colds, lots of referrals to more doctors and about six boxes of Kleenex, both for tears and nose gunk. And a monkey cake. There was a monkey cake.

Everyone is healthy, though. Until we see more doctors. But no one is rushing these appointments, so I’m gonna stick with healthy. 

I had an amaaaaaazing self-experience trying to summit a mountain and I have plenty to share about that. But do you know what it’s like to climb a mountain for 12 hours and have stupid kid TV show songs in your head? Because I do.

No joke. These two songs. Twelve hours. It was worse than the actual hiking-for-12-hours thing. 

 

I DON’T EVEN WATCH MCDOCTORSTUFFYWHATEVERFACE.

We totally watch Bubble Guppies though. And their stupid Mac & Cheese puns get me every fricking time.

So get ready for blogs about doctors, hiking, traveling with (and without) a toddler and a full update on the kid at 24 months. Get excited. Pour some bourbon. I’m You’re We’re gonna need it.

Image

Photo Friday: Ice Cream Cone (Doing It Wrong)

Hellooooooo world. The !#%!@ Baby and I still exist! We ran a temporary hotel here for a few weeks to host three visitors back to back. To back. So we took some time off (ok, I took some time off) from blogging to hang out with friends and grandmas. We went to the zoo, the children’s museum dealie, ate junk food, drank beer (ok, I drank beer) and just enjoyed having other people in the house. 

Because just the two of us? We really get on each other’s nerves. For real.

Among the things we did, my mom (Grandma Bebe) was adamant about getting the kid his first ice cream cone. He’s had ice cream before, but never in the cone.

And that was made very clear. He would not pick it up!

DQ2

He liked it. A lot. But refused to touch it.

DQ5

Weird little bugger. Who doesn’t pick up ice cream cones?!

DQ1

 And God forbid one of us try to keep it steady on the table for him.

DQ4

And when he got tired of bending over…he thought of another way to eat it.

DQ3

HE REFUSES TO USE A SPOON AT HOME AND THE ONE TIME IT ISN’T REQUIRED, HE USES A GODDAMN SPOON.

%$#!@# kid.

Now enjoy a bonus video and see this cute fail in action. 

If I Made Mistakes, I’m Sorry. Just Tell Me.

Dear !@$!# Baby,

At your last doctor visit in January, we were told to schedule an appointment if you weren’t saying any true words by May or so. Well, buddy, we are mostly through April and you still don’t speak.

You communicate, for sure. You know and use the signs for eat, more, please, nap and poop. You can make the sounds of cars, trains (even though it sounds like a monkey), helicopters, airplanes and vacuums. You imitate dogs, cats, monkeys (even though it sounds like a train), birds, seals, ducks, lions, sheep, mice and bears. You know your head, ears, eyes, hair, chin, cheeks, mouth, nose, eyes, elbows, hands, knees, feet, fingers, hands, toes, belly and butt. You know what the five senses are. You can imitate snoring. You know when to clap your hands, stomp your feet or smile when a song tells you to. 

Continue reading

Toughest Job? Nah, I Don’t Think So.

I saw “the ad” yesterday. Maybe the night before. And at first I thought it was sweet and almost shared the link. But I didn’t. And then I thought about it a little more. And then I rolled my eyes.

And at this point I know I’m not the only one that’s bitching about it or will bitch about it and I’m definitely not the best of the best that will bitch about it, but whatever. I feel like bitching about it and I already wrote it so I don’t care. 

If you are somehow blissfully unawares of the latest in viral emotional scams, let me assist you: Advertising geniuses ingeniously came up with a campaign that had real people interview for a fake job that had stupid, not to mention obviously illegal, work demands and then hit them with the SURPRISE IT’S MOM! shtick.  Continue reading

The Pros of (Temporary) (Military-Related) Single Parenthood

Yesterday, we went over the cons of such a situation. But today we celebrate the silver linings! It’s not always bad. Even in college we had summer and winter breaks apart, giving us an opportunity to miss/appreciate/become less annoyed with the other. PROS That span of 2005.5-2008.5 where we didn’t have a break?

Yeah, I don’t want to talk about that. Deployments can be good! We’ve come to enjoy them, at least parts of them. 

Plus they don’t exactly hurt the bank account and are pretty much the reason I don’t have to schlep to work every day any more…

Anyway, let’s get started! 

Continue reading